Fear

“When I have fears that I may cease to be..
On the shore of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink..”

Fear. One of the most primal instincts that marks our ephemeral life on earth as long as it lasts and possesses our soul until it obtains freedom from our worldly existence. How fascinating is this strong instinct and how strongly does it hold us in its grip. So much so that we go through life experiencing barely half of its real essence. It holds us back, hedges in all other basic instincts. Sometimes for good reason. However, there’s a lot in life that just passes us by if we reject that which is God-given and free, in a false sense of insecurity, self preservation being our top goal.
It was an absolute necessity to bestow on us humans a certain degree of fear and a strong desire to preserve and prolong life, to make the species thrive and the world flourish. The tiniest of living creature was given this instinct, which humans, at the highest rung of the evolutionary ladder, have developed into an art. In the present times, this art has evolved into a highly sophisticated form, through which, we are forever devising novel ways of protecting ourself from nature and other species including ourself. We have developed weapons of mass destruction, to destroy one life and preserve another. We are engaged in a battle with the deadliest of viruses and cancers in our attempt at longevity. Most of our other pursuits are merely an extension of this basic desire to live and thrive. Without the fear for life, there could not be a desire to protect it. The two co-exist. We protect the one we fear for and because of the fear it gets protected. The instinct is heightened in mothers of new borns. The greater the vulnerability, greater the fear for its existence and greater the attempt at preservation.
Fear protects and guards against excesses, forcing us to weigh circumstances and choose wisely. It enables us to preserve, conserve and nourish life as it was meant to be and restrains reckless, self destructive behavior. There is a strong case in favour of the right kind of fear – the kind that is positive and reaffirming of life and nature. What is destructive is the negative kind of fear that inhibits the natural flow of energy and marks our response to life with feelings of insecurity, lack of faith and apathy. There is a lot of abundance in life that we miss each day we live, if we harbor this fear. And, like a worm in the gut, it slowly eats upon our soul, nibbling away until a hollowness remains and all positive feeling is gone.
The negative, energy-sapping fear leads us into a path forever darkened by shadows of doubt and despair. Because Fear, whether positive or negative, is a very potent force. It might not be always apparent, but it is much more forceful and impactful that a more overt instinct like say, anger, which almost always manifests. Fear might not always manifest, but its grip is stronger and more binding. And the best or worst part is that it always originates and affects the owner. Distrust of a person or fear of a situation might be triggered because of external presence, however, they always originate in me and they will always eat into my soul. If I doubt someone, the doubt resides in me. If a situation is scary, the fear resides in me and not in the situation. Things are only as fearsome as I perceive them in my mind. However, as a reaction to my fear, I begin to manipulate the external factors. I try to put shackles on my child who shows risky behavior or I try to avoid situations that inspire fear or manipulate them to get rid of my fear. What I forget is that manipulating a situation or person will not remove the fear, only conceal it. I am attempting to alter the destination of fear and neglecting the source or origin. Here I inflict a double wrong – for one, I spend my effort where it will be in vain and might also aggravate the situation or the person concerned and for another, I do not introspect and so leave the origin of fear intact. I forget that the fear is still where it was and it will strike again, and again, and again.
The only way to rid ourselves of this fear is to accept it as our own and then get away from it. For permanent resolution, the only action we can take is against ourself. This negative fear is a burden on our souls; one that must be shed, in our pursuit of true happiness.